DEAR HARRIETTE: I think you flubbed the last part of your answer to “Bad Choice,” who was getting inappropriate messages from a co-worker she had dated and broken up with.
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After she meets with this guy (personally, I think she should skip this part), she should send him an email so that there’s a record stating that she is following up on their conversation. She should reiterate that what he is doing is inappropriate, and she is requesting that it stop.
She should also let him know that although she would like to maintain the cordial relationship they had prior to the failed dating attempt, if he continues to send inappropriate content, she will escalate with the human resources department.
You missed the fact that once she asks him to stop, if he doesn’t, it puts the company at risk of a sexual harassment case.
Please consider revising your answer, as simply ignoring unwanted advances is not correct for any person — male or female — to do.
— Amendment
DEAR AMENDMENT: Strong and fair points. Thank you for sharing your insights.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been dreaming of traveling solo for a while now, but every time I bring it up, friends and family warn me that it’s too dangerous.
They tell me that I should wait until I have a travel companion or join a group trip. While I understand their concerns, I don’t want fear to hold me back from experiencing the world on my own terms.
I do worry that traveling alone might feel isolating. As exciting as it sounds to have the freedom to explore at my own pace, I’m nervous that I might get lonely without someone to share the experience with. I don’t want to spend the whole trip feeling like something is missing or wishing I had someone there with me.
I’ve read about people who say solo travel is life-changing and builds confidence, but I wonder if it’s right for me.
How can I make sure I stay safe while also getting the most out of the experience? Should I push past my doubts and go for it, or is it better to wait until I find a travel companion?
— On the Road
DEAR ON THE ROAD: Do not let other people’s fears prevent you from pursuing your dreams. Many people have the fortitude to venture out on their own and do so safely and successfully.
For some people, traveling in groups and having to mesh schedules and interests can be painful and seem like a burden. It all depends on your personality. Do not let your loved ones convince you to do what they would find most comfortable.
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If you decide to travel alone, take the necessary precautions. Make sure someone has your full itinerary, including contact information for the various places where you will be staying, flight info, etc., as you have it.
Do your research to learn about points of interest, areas that are considered dangerous and why, dress codes, costs and customs. One great resource is travel.state.gov — click Travel Advisories in the banner at the top. Be cautious, even as you can be adventurous.
Be wary of stereotypes, too. For example, I was cautioned about visiting and living in Harlem years ago. I was told it was unsafe. Not only did I visit — at first in daytime out of caution — but I ended up moving there. It was and is just as safe as any other neighborhood in the Big Apple.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
