DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been a vegetarian for 15 years. It never fails that once a fellow diner finds out this information, they immediately take it upon themselves to read aloud everything on the menu that I am “allowed” to have.
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It’s as if being a vegetarian means I can no longer read. I often don’t divulge my eating preferences because of this.
And it never ends! I can eat with friends I’ve known for decades, and as soon as the menus are placed on the table, I am bombarded with “Oh, look, Giselle, you can have (XYZ).”
Believe me when I say it happens every single time. I want it to stop. What can I say that isn’t rude? (By the way, my husband always says they are just being nice. I say they are being annoying!)
GENTLE READER: “Thank you, yes, I saw that.” And they are being annoying.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: While staying at a lovely hotel, each morning before leaving my room, I would place $10 on the writing table for the maid.
When I returned to my room the second day, I noticed that the money was still there. The room looked very nice, so clearly the maid had done her work. I sorted it out with the front desk and the money was left for her in an envelope.
I understand that the same person may not be cleaning each day, so where should I leave the tip to be sure each person collects it?
I’ve always left tip money on the writing desk. My husband suggested that it be left on the bed pillow.
GENTLE READER: This is not so much a question of good manners as good visibility. Miss Manners suggests you place the money wherever you think it will be most easily seen. Or in whatever spot needs the most cleaning.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Just over a year ago, my friend “Tara” asked me, another friend and that friend’s cousin “Grace” to be bridesmaids in her wedding.
Tara did not have a lot of female friends, so Grace was asked despite being just an acquaintance. She agreed.
Fast-forward several months and Grace was sending out invites to her own wedding. She had a limited budget and space for her ceremony and reception, so she did not invite Tara.
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Tara was upset and thought that she should have been invited in reciprocation, even though she had not made an attempt to build or maintain a relationship with Grace since her own wedding.
While I did not get myself involved in the matter, it got me thinking about what would be proper. Should Grace have invited Tara to her wedding because she was in Tara’s?
GENTLE READER: There is a difference between forging a friendship and casting roles in a wedding. But Miss Manners is beginning to see why it was necessary for Tara to engage in the latter.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
