DEAR ABBY: For two years, I’ve been having an affair with my married neighbor, “Reed.”
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Recently his stepdaughter broke up with her boyfriend because he cheated on her, and now Reed has broken it off with me, saying he needs to be a role model to his kids.
I’m sorry his daughter is hurting, but if she hadn’t broken up with her boyfriend, Reed would still want this between us. Please tell me what I should do to get over him.
— CUT OFF IN FLORIDA
DEAR CUT OFF: Look inward. Examine the reason you started an affair with someone who was unavailable.
While it may have been fun in the short term, if you wanted anything more, it was a sad waste of time.
When Reed saw the pain his daughter’s boyfriend’s cheating caused her, I suspect he realized how much his behavior could affect his family. Or, he was tired of sneaking around.
By ending this affair, he has done you both a favor. Once you recognize it, you can move on.
DEAR ABBY: My son just told me his daughter, age 26, is getting breast enhancement surgery. My question is, how do I address that when next I see her, probably in several months?
It’s not like commenting on a new hair color or hairdo. Old men commenting on female anatomy, particularly that part, are not looked upon favorably.
As I see it, there are two ways that this goes. One, she mentions it to me — probably not likely to happen. Two, she does not mention it.
So, since she got the surgery to make a visible difference, how should I react? Without an introduction to the subject, I’m not sure I should make any response. Could my silence be perceived as a negative or as a lack of approval?
I’d appreciate your help in formulating a response before it becomes necessary.
— COOL GRANDPA IN TEXAS
DEAR GRANDPA: If your granddaughter mentions it — and she very well may — tell her she looks terrific. Look her in the eye when you say it.
If she does not raise the subject, play it cool and keep your lips zipped.
DEAR ABBY: Keith and I met online about a year and a half ago. We live 400 miles apart and have visited each other a couple of times.
I’m a single mom in my mid-30s and live close to family. Keith’s around the same age and lives very close to extended family of mine.
I have recently realized that I may be in love with him. I would like to confess my feelings and move to where he is if my feelings are reciprocated.
How do I approach this subject?
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Asking Eric: People I barely know tell me to be friendly to my ex. I don’t see why I should.
I’m tired of going through the motions. I need something good and constant in my life. I don’t want to always wonder “what if?”
— READY TO TAKE A STEP
DEAR READY: Has Keith ever told you that he misses you after these visits? If he has, it would be an indication that your feelings are reciprocated.
If he hasn’t, start by telling him how much you have enjoyed your visits and that you miss him. How he responds is important because it may open the door to where you want to take your friendship.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
