Miss Manners: We were yelled at in a Paris opera house. Were we in the wrong?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of the highlights of our trip to Paris was an opera performance at the Palais Garnier. The opera, “Médée” by Cherubini, is in excess of four hours, with two brief intermissions.

Miss Manners: Another mother chided me for group-texting a cute photo. Was I wrong?

Miss Manners: Can a guest reprimand a dog in its own house?

Miss Manners: Her joke about dodging the check turned out not so funny

Miss Manners: My fun party game went off the rails when my guest was arrested

Miss Manners: My fiance’s family is upset about the wedding gift situation

We were seated in the two front seats of a box in the first loge, with three pairs of seats behind us. Without an aisle, the box occupants must seat themselves in order from front to back to avoid climbing over one another. We needed to be seated first, and conversely, were the last to exit the box.

During the first intermission, we were not able to traverse the distance to the concessions in time to get any refreshments. At the second intermission, we rushed to purchase une gorgée de champagne et un petit sandwich just in time for the “return to your seats” bell to ring.

We hurried back to our seats, carrying our treats, and found our boxmates waiting for us to take our seats so they could do likewise.

Our choices seemed to be: A. have everyone wait while we consumed our refreshments; B. with no waste receptacles in the vicinity, set our items down on the floor to resume our seats; or C. take the items in with us and finish them before the performance resumed.

With no ushers or signage available for guidance, we selected option C as the most sensible. This apparently was incorrect, as almost immediately, a young man from an adjoining box leaned over the railing to shout at us, “This is the opera! This is not done!”

What would Miss Manners suggest as the best course of action? Obviously, eating before the performance is an option, but dining quickly in a Paris restaurant is easier said than done.

GENTLE READER: The chief example of rudeness here is shouting admonishments at other opera patrons.

But although Miss Manners does not believe in starving for art, she agrees that an opera house is not a movie theater. Even though Handel himself played for parties, you would not want to be surrounded by an audience chomping away on popcorn.

However, she is not above smuggling provisions into opera houses. Even in Paris, it is possible to buy takeout food that may be consumed during intermission, as an alternative to the pricier fare.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to comment on a co-worker’s new hairstyle or fashion choices? For context, I am a man and work mostly with women.

I would only ever share positive comments, such as, “I like your new hairstyle” or “I love that jacket.” I would never share a negative opinion, nor would I use my remarks as a way to show romantic interest in the other party.

Harriette Cole: How can I teach this crooked mechanic a lesson?

Dear Abby: I’m angry that my supermarket has this new rule

Asking Eric: I’m the bride’s great-uncle who’s going to hell

Dear Abby: A stranger sneered at my T-shirt, and I didn’t know what to say

Asking Eric: My husband’s family has this odd rule about naming sons. How do I explain it to our kid?

GENTLE READER: Then don’t.

Perhaps there will be ladies who are charmed. And perhaps there will be ladies who feel that they are there to work, not to have their looks appraised, even favorably. Do they comment when you get a haircut?

Miss Manners suggests you use your charm to comment favorably when your colleagues do especially good work.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.