DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve worked in the entertainment industry for a while now, and with that comes a lot of work with adjacent industries like beauty and fashion.
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A friend of mine admires the work I do. They’ve had a longtime interest in leaving the corporate world to pursue modeling full-time, and they currently model on the side. When I shared stories about events I’d attended or people and brands I’d worked with over the years, they’d always ask, “Why don’t you introduce me?”
So more and more I’d bring up their name subtly or ask for contact info on their behalf — but whenever opportunity came knocking, my friend would make excuses. I decided to stop advocating for them.
I’m not sure if it’s nerves or if they’re simply not ready for this undertaking, but either way, I decided not to prioritize helping them in that way.
I expressed this to my friend recently to set a clear boundary between my career and theirs, and they accused me of “hindering” them. Am I wrong here?
— Ungrateful Friend
DEAR UNGRATEFUL FRIEND: You are not wrong. Remind your friend that you made an effort on a number of occasions to give them a leg up into your business, and they didn’t follow up.
Your reputation is important, and if they are not going to take your introductions seriously, you cannot afford to keep making them. It makes you look bad, like you don’t have serious contacts.
They are hindering themselves, whether or not they realize it. Follow-through is essential. By not doing it, they shut the door on the opportunity.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working on a project with someone who pitched himself as an expert, asked for a hefty fee and promised to be a leader throughout.
What has happened is completely different. He is barely present, hasn’t come close to meeting deadlines and is constantly distracted. I need him to step up and do his part, but it isn’t happening.
How can I get him to take action or get out of the contract and find someone else to complete the job?
— Broken Agreement
DEAR BROKEN AGREEMENT: Review your contract to see what this person is required to do. Go through a checklist of duties that are outlined in the agreement.
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If you can go point by point and show him how he is not fulfilling his duties, you can argue that if he is unwilling or unable to do so, you need to find someone else to help you as he has breached his contract. Let him know that you will not be paying him for services that he has not completed.
Make sure you have everything documented as he may sue you for his compensation. If you are following your written agreement, you should be able to prove what he did or did not do.
The very threat of not paying him may get him to step up, though. Tell him that if he does the job, he will be compensated.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
