DEAR ABBY: I have a female friend, “Kylene,” who needs yard work done weekly. My fiance, “Josh,” goes over there to do the work for her. He charges $60.
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During the last two weeks, she has been popping up at our home uninvited. Kylene knows Josh’s work schedule and makes sure she sees him daily at the neighborhood bar around 4 in the afternoon.
The other day, I went to the bar with Josh, and lo and behold, she was there waiting for him. I was pretty upset, because I don’t see my Josh very much due to his tight work schedule.
Do you think she is stalking my fiance? Kylene hardly talks to me when we are all together. She talks mostly to Josh.
I have always believed that you don’t mix business with pleasure. I think she’s stalking him. Kylene doesn’t have any friends, and I think she’s jealous of me. What do you think?
— SUSPICIOUS IN INDIANA
DEAR SUSPICIOUS: I think that rather than stalking Josh, Kylene is “chasing” him.
How does Josh feel about it? Is he flattered? Is he attracted to her? Have you discussed the fact that her dropping by your home unannounced is inappropriate?
I agree that your “friend” may be jealous of you, but the person who should put a stop to what has been going on is Josh, not you.
DEAR ABBY: I have worked with the same six women and three men for 19 years.
Each time one has a birthday, we have a small office party with lunch, cake and ice cream, and a gift in the $50 range, and the birthday person gets the remainder of the day off. This is done for everyone except me.
Although it hurts my feelings, I’ve never said anything about being excluded, and no one seems to have noticed the omission.
I did inquire (twice) if anyone had dined at a restaurant my husband will be taking me to for my birthday, but no one picked up my hint that I’m also a part of the staff.
Should I politely continue celebrating other people’s special days or proclaim, “Hey! I’m here, too!”
— INVISIBLE CO-WORKER
DEAR INVISIBLE: As the saying goes, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Could you have inadvertently been omitted from a list of employee birthdays? By all means, speak up before it’s time for you to retire.
[The same letter appeared in the column of Miss Manners, a staunch opponent of workplace socializing. Here’s what she said.]
DEAR ABBY: My husband was let go from his job due to restructuring.
He’s understandably upset, and I see him sink further into depression with every rejection letter he receives for the positions he has applied for. How can I help him?
— SUPPORTIVE WIFE IN OHIO
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DEAR WIFE: Help your husband by not pressuring him during this difficult time. If he hasn’t yet applied for unemployment benefits, remind him he is entitled to them. Suggest that if there are no openings in his field, he should consider using his skills to do something different and perhaps contact a temporary employment agency.
Let him know you are a willing listener, but do not pump him for information.
If no job turns up for him in the next six months (and if you are not already employed), consider finding a job to relieve the financial pressure.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
