Asking Eric: My husband knows I’m traumatized by grippy socks, yet he keeps giving them to me

Dear Eric: My husband of more than 20 years gives me slipper socks with grippy soles. I hate them!

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We live in a hot climate, so I have little use for them. They filled up my sock drawer and retraumatized me every time I touched them. I threw them away and they came back.

He gave me five more pairs at Christmas. They can’t be worn with shoes or out in public. They are synthetic so I cannot even use them to polish the furniture. I kept them for animal first aid.

I cannot be cool about these socks. They remind me of the horrible time I had in the hospital having emergency surgery. My husband couldn’t even manage to hug me or talk with me before my surgery.

I’m trying very hard to be graceful and grateful for any gift from my husband, but I want to throw these at him. He knows darn well I dislike them but has given them repeatedly to me. I have to use my good fabric shears to slice them up or he will “rescue them” from the garbage.

Is there a graceful way to handle the next installment of fluffy grippy socks? I tried to no avail telling him I get my grippy socks the old-fashioned way – at the hospital, in person!

– Sock Drawer Full

Dear Sock Drawer: I’ll admit, I can’t make heads or feet of these gifts. Why do these socks have such a grip on your husband?

Sometimes loved ones fall into familiar gift patterns because they’re easy or make shopping less stressful. Like the uncle or cousin who always gives elephant figurines because a loved one once said, “I like elephants.”

Thing is: You’ve said you absolutely do not like grippy socks and don’t have a use for them. So, not only is your husband not listening, but he seems dead set on foisting them upon you. The trash rescue is bizarre.

I know you’ve told him “no more grippy socks, I can’t even dust with them,” but it may be necessary to have an even more direct conversation. A lint-tervention? (Not my best work!)

Tell him, “I appreciate that you want to give me gifts, but these socks remind me of a bad time in my life. I’ve communicated with you that the impact is not matching your intention. Can you explain why you keep giving them to me?” Or more plainly, “What are the socks really about?”

He may say, “It’s not that deep.” Fine and dandy, but if it’s not that deep, then it should be easy enough for him to leave this practice behind, like the sock that disappears in the dryer, and find a new way to show his love.

You might even offer him an alternative. How do you feel about elephant figurines?

Dear Eric: I am fortunate to be part of a large family. As expected, however, we have a variety of political opinions.

One of my brothers-in-law seems to feel it is appropriate to display his political views at family events. I do not want any displays of politics at this event. Should I include on invitations a note stating that political attire of any kind is not welcome?

– No-Politics Party

Dear Party: It’s a fine idea to include dress code instructions on party invitations, including a moratorium on political statements, but in this case, it runs the risk of being read for what it is: a pointed edict for an audience of one.

Harriette Cole: The bachelorette trip was ruined. How can I make it up to the bride?

Miss Manners: My neighbor’s plus-ones are nice women, but they’re outsiders

Dear Abby: Why are some of these old people so cranky?

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Better to reach out to him directly and ask him not to wear something that invites political discussion to your party. Now, of course, he can decline. Depending on what he’s planning on wearing and what you think might happen as a result, you can decide if this is not the gathering for him.

Sometimes political attire is in the eye of the beholder. (If you really want to go down the fashion rabbit hole, everything that we wear makes some sort of statement. That’s one of the points of fashion.) But we can also all agree that some items are worn to provoke a response. If that’s the case with this relative, having a discussion with him about what response he’s looking to get from your friends and family and why is a good start.

Dear Readers: We’re just tiptoeing into November, but this is the last call to send in questions about the holidays in time to get them answered. Got family queries, gift dilemmas, trying to get off of Santa’s naughty list? Send them my way. And Valentine’s Day is not far behind – if you have questions about love, marriage, dating, making up or breaking up, I’m ready and willing to read and answer.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.