DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently graduated and entered the workforce, and while I feel grateful to have landed a full-time position in marketing, I’m starting to feel a bit lost.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: Is this a bad reason to homeschool my daughter?
Harriette Cole: My sister won’t call me back, and I have no idea what’s wrong
Harriette Cole: How do I confront my husband about what I found in the laundry?
Harriette Cole: I’d go out with him if it weren’t for this woman’s immature meddling
Harriette Cole: Advice to mother who’s done having babies draws forceful response
The job itself is fine. I have a supportive team and decent pay, and I get to use some of the skills I learned in school. Still, something feels off. I don’t feel fulfilled.
I keep wondering if I chose this field just because it felt safe or convenient at the time, not because it’s what I truly want to do.
Now that I’m a few months in, I’m thinking about pivoting, but into what?
I’ve explored different industries and roles online, listened to podcasts, even tried informational interviews, but nothing is really clicking. It’s hard not to compare myself to peers who seem to know exactly what they want and are charging full speed ahead while I’m stuck questioning everything.
I worry that if I jump ship too soon or too often, I’ll look flaky or unfocused. I also worry that if I stay too long in a role that doesn’t inspire me, I’ll end up stuck in a career I never truly wanted.
How do I figure out what direction to go in when I don’t even know what interests me yet? Is this kind of uncertainty normal in the early stages of a career?
— Just Getting Started
DEAR JUST GETTING STARTED: Be patient. One mistake that many people make as they begin their careers is to jump ship too soon.
Give yourself a chance to learn as much as you can on this job. Soak it all in. Meet as many people as you can as you explore other potential areas of interest. Stop comparing yourself to others and just learn.
Many people have multiple pivots along their career journeys. You don’t have to stay in one role for life, but give yourself a chance to gain knowledge and skills — and a good reference — before leaving.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Lately, I’ve been feeling unsupported. Last year was extremely difficult for me, and it felt as though my friends weren’t there for me.
I know we’re all adults and have our own schedules and life challenges, so I’m not sure if my expectations were too high.
I don’t want to impose, but my friends always tell me that they’re here for me. Yet, when I suffered from a major loss and found the courage to tell them that I needed support, they seemed to be distant.
Have my friends and I outgrown each other? Am I overreacting? Is there a way to address this with my friends without sounding entitled?
— Feeling Neglected
DEAR FEELING NEGLECTED: When you told your friends you needed their support, were you specific in outlining your needs? Was it a reasonable request?
Sometimes, when people face a crisis, they cry out for help in such a general way that others don’t know how to help. Other times, people rely on friends for everything, which can feel overwhelming.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: His driving was terrifying. Was I wrong to ask him to slow down?
Dear Abby: It’s going to be awkward to tell him he can’t sit there
Asking Eric: Why did nobody stop the high-strung sister from stealing the valuables?
Harriette Cole: Is this a bad reason to homeschool my daughter?
Miss Manners: I skipped a party for a colleague I don’t like. Should I have lied about why?
Evaluate what you actually need and want from friends and ask for that specifically. If they remain unresponsive, ask them why.
You can tell them it hurts your feelings that they haven’t been helpful. Ask what you did that may have turned them off.
Finally, ask yourself if you might have missed some opportunities to support your friends in the past. If so, it may be time to apologize, now that you know what that feels like from the other side.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
