Miss Manners: Is it weird when I talk behind my hand? My husband says it is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I tend to cover my mouth when I talk, especially in public places. The main reason is so that my voice is lower and won’t bother people around me.

Miss Manners: The maid of honor’s wedding-day surprise was not a pleasant one

Miss Manners: My wife’s habit makes me cringe. After all these years, should I say something?

Miss Manners: Is my husband right that my phone alarm is rude?

Miss Manners: The graduation invitation now sounds almost like a threat

Miss Manners: Why do they doubt I’m really an engineer?

I thought I was being considerate, but my husband says that it looks weird. Is he right?

GENTLE READER: He sure is. It looks like you’re telling a secret to yourself.

Miss Manners has seen people who want to talk through a mouthful of food cover their mouths like this, but not those trying to modulate their voices.

Is lowering your volume just too obvious? Because it is certainly more intelligible and less confusing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When serving a steak, the server will often say something along the lines of, “Please cut into the center to make sure it’s cooked the way you want it.”

At a business dinner of around 20 people, I was rather rudely corrected for doing so by someone who thought I was about to commence eating before everyone’s entree had been served.

Should I have waited until everyone was served to check my steak, even though I wasn’t eating yet? When a large group is dining in a restaurant, what is the proper protocol for checking the doneness of meat?

On other occasions, when a server has given that invitation, I always cut into the center of the steak immediately, without taking a bite of it, before eating anything else on the plate. In a smaller party when everyone’s food is served at once, it’s a nonissue.

GENTLE READER: Ah, the old, “I wasn’t starting my dinner, I was just trying it.” The optics do not really distinguish between the two. It does feel unfair, Miss Manners agrees, when the servers are coercing you into the act.

But since the few minutes’ difference between cutting your meat immediately and waiting until everyone is served is not likely to change the solution, why risk being rude to others?

Miss Manners will approach the situation from both ends, so to speak: She will urge servers to stop the practice, instead serving a steak with, “After you have had a moment to try it, please let us know …”

But if they insist on your doing so immediately, politely tell them, “Thank you. I will let you know once everyone is served and I’ve had a chance to try it.” Since so many readers complain about overattentive servers, the wait should not be long.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am caring for a loved one with stage 4 cancer. She has a life expectancy of a few months — maybe only weeks.

Dear Abby: My mother-in-law torpedoed the surprise party

Asking Eric: They refuse to take their stuff out of my garage

Harriette Cole: The bride thinks my wife will create drama at the wedding

Miss Manners: The maid of honor’s wedding-day surprise was not a pleasant one

Dear Abby: I found these photos of his proposal to another woman

I have some well-meaning friends who feel that it’s helpful to send me poppycock they find on social media on quick “cures” for cancer. These messages are like a body blow, and they leave me angry and in tears.

I usually reply with a simple “thank you.” Is there another way of responding? Or should I just let it go?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you, but I assure you that the doctors are doing everything they can. I will let you know if we require any additional internet assistance.”

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.