Emilie Kiser, the Arizona-based mom influencer, spoke out for the first time Thursday about the death of her 3-year-old son, Trigg, saying in a TikTok post that she misses him “every second of every day,” while she also takes “full accountability” for not doing more to protect him more from drowning in her family’s back yard pool on May 12.

“It’s a pain, heartache, and void that no family should ever have to endure,” said Kiser, whose sweet-faced toddler regularly featured in content that she shared with her more than 6 million combined followers on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube.

“I take full accountability as Trigg’s mother, and I know I should have done more to protect him,” Kiser continued. “One of the hardest lessons I carry is that a permanent pool fence could have saved his life, and it’s something I will never overlook again. I hope amidst this pain, Trigg’s story will help prevent other children and families from suffering the same loss.”

Trigg was in the care of his father, Brady Kiser, on the evening of May 12, when he reportedly fell into the pool at the family’s home in Chandler, Arizona. He died six days later.

Following Trigg’s death, Emilie and Brady Kiser faced lacerating questions online about whether they put in adequate safeguards around the large, sparkling backyard pool that was often on display in Emilie’s cheerful social media posts about their idyllic, upscale home life.

One major criticism was that the couple didn’t install a fence around the pool, with people accusing Emilie Kiser of not wanting a fence to ruin the “aesthetic” of the pool. Chandler Police investigators also found that a safety net for the pool was not in use on the evening that Brady Kiser allowed Trigg to play outside near the pool.

Of course, the more proximate cause of Trigg’s drowning was his father’s failure to supervise him in the back yard for nine minutes before finding him floating in the pool, unresponsive, according to a report by the Chandler police.

That evening, Brady Kiser had stayed home with Trigg and the couple’s then-newborn son Theodore, while his wife met some friends for dinner.

Brady Kiser initially told police that he lost sight of Trigg for only three to five minutes while caring for Theodore. He said it was normal in their home for Trigg to play outside near the pool. The difference that night, he said, “I was the only parent home.”

But police, citing video evidence, said that Trigg “was in the backyard unsupervised for more than nine minutes, and in the water for about seven of those minutes.” The video evidence showed that Trigg had tripped and fell into the pool while playing with an inflatable chair.

Meanwhile, police alleged that Brady Kiser was inside in the family room, whose windows and glass doors look out onto the pool. But according to police, Brady Kiser was watching an NBA playoff game and had placed a $25 bet shortly before the drowning.

“Brady’s statements do not match what is seen on the video; he did not accurately describe one thing (Trigg) did after he went outside. This leads to the conclusion that Brady was not aware of what (Trigg) was doing and was not watching him. The combination of these factors led to drowning, and a remedy to any of the contributing circumstances could have prevented the outcome,” police said in the report.

Before the police report was released, investigators recommended that Brady Kiser face a class 4 felony charge of child abuse, People reported. However, the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office on July 25 announced that he would not face child abuse charges, saying there is “no likelihood of conviction” against the father.

Trigg’s death and the subsequent investigation sparked a media frenzy over the personal choices and public persona of Emilie Kiser, the perky, honey-blonde housewife who regularly posted videos about her happy home life with her husband and two young sons. She sometimes posted several videos a day on TikTok, showing her waking up or getting Trigg dressed and ready to go to school. She also shared videos of herself cleaning her marble kitchen countertops, folding clothes in her large laundry room, running errands or putting on makeup, all while endorsing products, from swim suits to Walmart delivery services to stylish backyard furnishings from Home Goods.

Over the past year, Kiser expressed delight about moving into the family’s Mediterranean villa-style home and talked in detail about different ways she hoped to decorate it. She also expressed excitement about the pool and the large back yard and, at one point, she sought input from followers about how to make the pool safe for Trigg.

In her TikTok message, Kiser expressed profound “heartache” about having to live without Trigg. Followers of her tragedy may note that she writes of “we” and “our” in her note, but that it’s signed by her, not her and Brady.

“Loss of this magnitude feels impossible to put into words,” Kiser said. “I’ve spent days, weeks, months trying to find them and also take time to digest the loss of my baby.”

“Trigg is our baby and our best friend,” she continued. “The light and spirit he brought into this world was bright, pure, joyful, and undeniable. We miss him every second of every day and continuing forward often feels unbearable.”