Harriette Cole: My friend is now my neighbor, but something has gone wrong

DEAR HARRIETTE: Back in February, I moved to a new neighborhood that’s far from where a lot of my friends live. I spent a lot of time alone making my house a home.

Harriette Cole: I think these women at the gym were mocking me

Harriette Cole: When my mother prayed aloud for my wife’s cold heart, we walked out. What now?

Harriette Cole: Did I make a mistake with the men at the bar?

Harriette Cole: My teen’s sports season was ruined, and I don’t know how to help her

Harriette Cole: This woman didn’t belong in our VIP area. Why wouldn’t anyone kick her out?

In May, a friend from another state moved here, and she lives about 15 minutes away from me. When I heard the news, I felt such joy and relief — but since she’s been here, we haven’t hung out much, despite my invitations. She seems busy with work and with her own personal life.

I’ve seen her make time to hang with some of our mutual friends, but for some reason, she hasn’t extended an invite to me.

I tried to address it, but she said she didn’t think I’d be interested. I don’t like that she made that decision for me (on more than one occasion, I might add).

I’m trying to avoid focusing on the feelings of being left out and just put my energy into finding ways to take care of myself, even if that means doing so alone. How do I combat these feelings of loneliness and turn them into self-care or me-time that I can enjoy?

— Lonely

DEAR LONELY: Research neighboring towns that may be more social than where you live. Find out what activities are going on there in the evenings and on weekends. Sign up for classes. Go to the theater. Put yourself in environments with other people so that you can meet potential new friends.

Do not dwell on your former friends and associates who are not including you in their lives. Build your own life anew. The key is putting yourself out there. It will not work if you stay at home by yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently in the middle of a career pivot. For many years, I worked in corporate offices behind the scenes in operations. I still do that now, in a more creative industry.

In this role, I get to show my personal interests, style and creative capabilities a lot more. As a result, a lot of people have been telling me that I should step away from being behind the scenes and start putting myself out there.

I’ve always been in a supportive role, and I worry that I’m not ready to come out of my shell. In the same breath, I know I have great potential and I’m only delaying my growth by allowing fear to guide me.

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Asking Eric: It was my dream to move here. Now how do I convince my husband we should go back?

Harriette Cole: I think these women at the gym were mocking me

Do you have any advice for someone trying to step out of their comfort zone professionally or establish their voice in a creative industry?

— Comfort Zone

DEAR COMFORT ZONE: Many people take public speaking or improv courses or even sing (sober) karaoke to get them to break out of their comfort zone. You might want to enroll in Toastmasters, an organization that teaches confidence-building and articulation. The point is to engage in ways that will help you push past your insecurities.

Network with the creative people at your company. Find out what kinds of projects they might need help with, and offer your services. Go for it!

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.