Harriette Cole: He’s putting my photos online under his name

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently joined a photography club because I wanted to meet other photographers, improve my skills and share my work in a supportive environment.

Harriette Cole: I don’t want my book club to think I’m uptight

Harriette Cole: My friend ignored my birthday wishes, and the party was awful

Harriette Cole: My friends say I should act unimpressed by the men I date

Harriette Cole: My career just took off, and I don’t know if I should follow my fiancee

Harriette Cole: My date’s phone call upset me so much that I had to go home

Most members are great, but one person has started posting some of my photos online without my permission and giving himself credit as the photographer.

It makes me feel frustrated and disrespected, and I’m not sure how to handle it without creating conflict within the group. I don’t want to come across as overly sensitive, but I want my work to be respected and credited properly.

I’ve tried subtly reminding him or commenting on posts, but it hasn’t seemed to stop the behavior.

I feel anxious every time I bring new photos to the club, wondering if they’ll appear online under someone else’s name. It’s starting to make me dread sharing my work, which is supposed to be one of the main joys of joining the club. I also feel like my creativity and effort aren’t being valued, which is really discouraging.

How can I approach this situation in a way that protects my work, maintains my relationships within the club and sets clear boundaries?

— Crossing the Line

DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Now is the time to be direct. Posting your work as their own is plagiarism, plain and simple.

Go to the group at the next meeting and complain publicly. Ask how it could have happened that the art you brought to show the group would be posted by someone else without crediting you.

Do not bring any more work to the group until this issue is handled. Address it head-on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate recently asked me if her boyfriend could stay at our apartment for a whole week, and I agreed at the time because I didn’t want to make things awkward or seem unaccommodating.

Now that I’ve thought it over, I’m really regretting saying yes.

I’m worried about having someone in our shared space for that long, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it. I also realize that our apartment is small, and having a third person around constantly could disrupt my routines, privacy and sense of personal space.

I feel stuck because I already said yes, but I also don’t want to feel trapped or stressed during the week. I’m anxious about bringing it up now because I don’t want my roommate to be upset or feel like I’m being unreasonable. At the same time, I need to prioritize my own comfort and mental well-being.

Can I go back and change my answer, or would that be unfair to my roommate? How can I approach this in a way that respects both my boundaries and our friendship?

— Third Wheel

Miss Manners: I haven’t told my neighbors why I sprint through the lobby

Dear Abby: I don’t want to be a jerk, but my fiancee has one flaw

Asking Eric: Why is my daughter so opposed to my new job?

Harriette Cole: I don’t want my book club to think I’m uptight

Miss Manners: My mother embarrasses me at restaurants with her showy post-meal routine

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Tell your roommate you need to have a talk with her. Explain that while you agreed for her boyfriend to stay for a week at your place, it is making you uncomfortable. You are concerned about being cramped.

While it may not work to rescind the invitation, make it clear that you need him to respect your privacy, be as neat as possible and not stay longer than agreed.

Next time, take a breath and assess a request carefully before agreeing to it.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.