DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently matched with someone on a dating app, and after chatting for a bit, we realized we work at the same company.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: Is it a red flag that he follows his ex and likes her posts?
Harriette Cole: My neighbor is leaving me unsettling notes
Harriette Cole: Should I tell the bride why I’m uneasy?
Harriette Cole: My neighbor’s bossiness about parking has gotten out of hand
Harriette Cole: My boss follows my social media, and I don’t know what to do
It’s a huge organization, so we had never crossed paths before — until, of course, we suddenly started running into each other in the office after matching.
We never acknowledged it directly, and since then, things have felt a little awkward. It’s not like anything inappropriate happened between us. We just exchanged a few friendly messages before things fizzled out, but now every hallway run-in feels tense. I can’t tell if he’s pretending it never happened or if he’s just as unsure as I am about how to act.
Part of me wants to laugh it off and break the ice, but another part worries that it might make things even weirder. I’ve caught myself overthinking what to say when I see him and wondering if other co-workers have picked up on the tension. It’s gotten to the point where I sometimes take a different route to avoid the awkwardness altogether.
Should I bring it up to clear the air or just keep acting like nothing happened and hope the awkwardness fades on its own?
— Unmatched
DEAR UNMATCHED: Be the adult in the room. Next time you see this man, walk up to him and discreetly address the obvious.
You can start with humor. Yes, it is uncanny that the two of you would meet online and end up working in the same place, but it doesn’t need to be awkward. You didn’t end up hooking up. It was innocent enough, and now it’s over.
Agree to stop dodging each other in the building, be cordial and move on.
DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been stressful for me. I lost my job and have used most of my savings just to survive.
I haven’t talked about my situation much at all. It’s frustrating enough to live it without the embarrassment of admitting that, at 40 years old, my great career ended because of no fault of my own. I suddenly became seen as a DEI hire even though my job had nothing to do with diversity.
I feel deflated and scared. I’ve been looking for work but can’t find anything, and I’m worried about what to do next.
— Lost
DEAR LOST: Sadly, there are hundreds of thousands of well-credentialed, hardworking people like you in this country who are recently out of work with seemingly nowhere to turn. Now is the time to talk to your friends and reach out to organizations that may be able to help you.
With friends, band together and help each other — first by revealing your situation and then asking for help.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: I refuse to be part of their Christmas list ritual
Dear Abby: The DNA test proves me right, but my sister keeps spreading these lies
Asking Eric: My husband died, my house burned down, and still this horrible woman shuns me
Harriette Cole: Is it a red flag that he follows his ex and likes her posts?
Miss Manners: Is it rude to talk on one’s phone in a public place?
Some people have formed meal collectives where they cook together and share the expenses of food. Others help with babysitting. Still others have provided shelter for newly unhoused former professionals.
On a different level, reach out to human rights organizations for help. The ACLU, for example, is looking to support people who feel they were wrongly dismissed.
Drop the shame and speak up for yourself. Telling your story may be the way to save yourself and others like you.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
